With out a history-spanning treasure trove of artifacts to line its musty, dusty cabinets, Warehouse 13 (streaming all month lengthy on Fridays as a part of July’s nostalgia-bound SYFY Rewind) would really feel like a reasonably barren and boring place. It’s the artifacts, in spite of everything, that give the magic-sleuthing sequence its raison d’être; the stuff that makes an unassuming large steel shed in windswept South Dakota far, excess of the sum of its rusted, rickety elements.
We’re not gonna lie: There’s actually no strategy to rank the relative greatness of all of the (typically actually) killer artifacts that crossed our fearless brokers’ paths over the course of 5 seasons and 64 insanely imaginative episodes. Artifacts are the present’s sci-fi lifeblood, and practically each Warehouse 13 episode comes packed to the gills with magical relics each necessary and insignificant. A few of them — like Ferdinand Magellan’s Astrolabe — are significantly excessive profile, serving as season-spanning plot units; whereas others seem solely in fleeting moments as comic-relief afterthoughts…normally simply to mess up the workflow for Artie (Saul Rubinek) and the gang, who’ve a foul behavior of casually leaving them mendacity round.
However in a present that’s all about whipping the unexplained into protected, securely-stored form, a handful of artifacts nonetheless stands out in our recollections — even practically a decade on from Warehouse 13’s 2014 sequence sign-off. Right here’s how we charge our favorites, with a pleasant reminder from Pete (Eddie McClintock) and Myka (Joanne Kelly) about methods to take heed to your vibes every time one thing within the speedy neighborhood feels just a bit bit off: “When one thing has no clarification, then the reason is there’s an artifact concerned!”
7: Harriet Tubman’s Thimble
In sequence lore, Harriet Tubman’s thimble as soon as belonged to the well-known Civl Conflict-era activist, imbued from the beginning with the ability to infuse light-bending qualities into the clothes she sewed for escaped slaves fleeing oppression by way of the Underground Railroad. However a pinky-sized gadget that may idiot individuals into pondering you’re another person can are available fairly helpful within the current day, too — particularly should you’re as much as no good. Helena G. Wells (Jaime Murray) had precisely that in thoughts when she debuted the magic-infused thimble early in Season 2, although it will go on to pop up in later episodes, after H.G. was on friendlier phrases with the gang, as a helpful good-guy software.
6: The Tesla
Our heroes wouldn’t get very far with out sporting a standard-issue enemy neutralizer at their hip, and whenever you’re up in opposition to specters, spirits, and mad scientists from the stressed previous, no peculiar weapon will do. Carrying the status of a Nikola Tesla pedigree, the Tesla serves as one half stun gun and one half Males In Black-style reminiscence eraser, wiping the minds of hapless witnesses when victims are safely zapped on the gadget’s decrease electrical settings. Dial up the juice, although, and the Tesla will get downright lethal: One blast at full energy can flip an individual to nothing greater than a mound of dried-out ashes.
5: Lewis Carrol’s Wanting Glass
It’s simply plain cool, okay? Identify recognition goes a great distance with this one, which ought to simply ring a topsy-turvy bell for Alice in Wonderland followers. Framed by ornate carvings, Lewis Carrol’s Wanting Glass is sufficiently big to swallow a whole individual, which is sort of the purpose because it capabilities as a type of tit-for-tat consciousness-swapping gadget. Similar to Carroll’s unsettlingly nice tales, the mirror carries an air of somber thriller: Stand too near it, and also you would possibly simply find yourself because the one trapped behind the glass — whereas the consciousness of the one who was trying again at you only a second earlier than hijacks your physique…and begins strolling round inside it.
4: H.G. Wells’ Corsican Vest
To not be confused with the Imperceptor Vest, which served as extra of a MacGuffin by the plot of Season 2’s “Time Will Inform” episode, H.G. Wells’ Corsican Vest takes its identify from an Alexandre Dumas novella (“The Corsican Brothers,” aka Les Frères corses) about two emotionally-connected siblings separated at start. Whereas the brothers in Dumas’ story shared a long-distance psychic bond, the vest just about goes for a twisted tackle that impact, inflicting the ache and accidents of anybody who assaults its wearer again on them as a substitute. It’s principally the Warehouse 13 model of the “mirror” standing in online game RPGs, which is a shorthand approach of claiming it’s some of the highly effective threads hanging round in H.G.’s closet.
3: The Farnsworth
Primarily a steampunk video telephone with a whimsically curvy black-and-white display screen, the Farnsworth served as our heroes’ secured-network communications gadget of selection every time they completely, positively had to make sure nobody else might drop in on their super-secret conversations. Issued by Artie as a key piece of Pete and Myka’s everyday-carry gear, the Farnsworth was most likely a extra treasured gadget than its frequent look within the present would possibly let on. When Claudia (Allison Scagliotti) lastly will get a Farnsworth of her personal in Season 2, the present makes it fairly clear that she’s stoked to lastly be trusted with the valuable throwback flip telephone — by no means thoughts that the Farnsworth comes packaged in an early-industrial kind issue that kind of resembles an outsized Altoids tin.
2: Backbone of the Saracen
The reward of superhuman energy normally doesn’t come and not using a draw back, and the Backbone of the Saracen, exhibiting up in Season 1’s “Burnout” episode, carries some significantly berserk baggage for anybody loopy (or unfortunate) sufficient to seek out the amped-up Eleventh-Century relic clinging to their spine. Like several correct magic-infused artifact, this one yearns to discover a human host whether or not voluntarily or in any other case, and it attaches itself like a parasite to grant superhero-sized boosts to energy and stamina. After all that’s not its solely impact: The Backbone additionally incites Hulk ranges of rage whereas sucking away at its human supplier’s life drive, making it a type of satan’s discount for anybody who knowingly would spinal-tap into its lethal energy.
1: Ferdinand Magellan’s Astrolabe
Superman might warp around the globe to spin time backwards, however Warehouse 13 had its personal gadget to deal with that job: the supernaturally-charged astronomical calculator that after belonged to explorer Ferdinand Magellan. The Astrolabe scores excessive marks not just for giving the group an opportunity to show again time and undo the mess that destroyed the Warehouse on the finish of Season 3; it additionally ended up being a outstanding a part of the following storyline, changing into a type of scorching potato that variously saved falling into the proper or flawed arms.
Like most of Warehouse 13’s strongest relics, Magellan’s Astrolabe got here with a shady facet: It was reputed to be able to unleashing a recent new evil each time it was used for good. At totally different factors within the sequence, the group discovered themselves wrestling for management over the gadget, which ended up serving because the gateway for a lot of their contact with the heirs to the mysterious historical Brotherhood of the Black Diamond — the Templar-connected sect tasked with guarding the valuable treasure by time.
Create your personal artifact guidelines by catching all 5 seasons of Warehouse 13 as a part of this month’s SYFY Rewind marathon on Fridays, or stream the complete sequence anytime at Peacock.
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